Birthday party is over, exams are over, holiday arrived and I finally wrote something.
Birthday party cannot really count as a successful one because I guess I overestimate the food and people coming. I am running up and down to get everything done, I didn’t have time to talk to my friends. The whole party just ends like that, when I have not even sit down and enjoys, feel the mood, all just gone in a moment. I really appreciate those who came. Hope they did enjoy themselves.
Exam are craps, I just study like a week before the exam and I went in with half blanked. I doubt I can really do well, just try my luck.
21st birthdate came, nothing special about the day, just go school for my exam, surprised surprised by my very dear university friends, came home study for next day test and went out for dinner. Thanks so much to those who sms and wished me happy birthday,
I would like to say it really sads me a lot when I dun even get to celebrate with my wife. 21 is only once in a lifetime, down the road of the life, I doubt I would be excited about my birthday, because its just a sign of growing old. A call or a sms could easily warm my heart but its not there. Perhaps is just mark another day of your life, but it really means a lot to me, it just shows how much I stand.
After exams are over, I can finally relax and relax. Slack at home for the past weekend and then off to work. Now Im working as waitress again, I guess it not the best choice but well, I have to. There are tons of things that I wish to buy but everything goes with money around.
I know that one must always be contented with what they have, but the cruel world is telling me that without money, you are nothing.
JuSt Me~
12:53 AM
Its my day
Its my birthday today but Im definitely not a happy, birthday girl. With a paper today and tomorrow, no partying all night. =( Cannot even have a nice 21st birthday day.
With the lighting striking and the thunder roaring, Im going off for the paper on my bday. sighs.
JuSt Me~
10:40 AM
My worth
Wondering why nobody really love and cherish what they have now. It feels pain when people just do not see you at all, the ignorance of your existence and feeling.
I am shrinking and shrinking, one fine day, you will never see me again cause my existence and feeling is long gone. I have been trying real hard to prove myself I am worth the value, but now it seems that I have long gone in your eyes.
Life is hard, at time the air doesn't seems to go into the lungs, one deep breath could just end my life as it hurt so badly.
After almost 21 years of my life I then realize the cruel fact.
JuSt Me~
12:17 AM
Back to school today. Today lesson was ok, perhaps not much friends around to talk with so can concentrate better, or perhaps because today is the first lecture. After lecture which is only 12- 2, slack around in school, met JJJJ at lot one, shopped cotton on. Some serious comment that I feel that cotton on should take note. Firstly, the sales personals there are way too fierce that I personally dun really like to shop in there anymore. Secondly, why can’t just 2 person share 1 fitting room. We saved one fitting room is not like we will be doing something funny inside, we are all sensible people. All I can say is disappointment.
Not much studying today, kind of disappointed with myself. Put myself into some thinking.
我不是我想像的那么勇敢： 要怎么知道我是否真的爱上你了，我应该以什么方式努力的生活下去， 我该以怎么态度面对我的生活。
JuSt Me~
11:24 PM
BLAME ON IT!
2009, its only 10 days after the new year and people around me must be playing jokes on me. I hate economy crisis, every crisis I am being raped off something important in my life.
You can be earning 6 digit every month, EC is just a small problem that never made any difference in your life, but to me, EC had crashed my life into nothing, TWICE. You see it but you will never be able to do anything about it. I HATE IT!!!!No decision to be made right now. Just cry and wait.
JuSt Me~
1:43 AM
1 sem of updates
Evaporated for one sem of my life, I guess adapting fast and time management is so important. Project and exam period had stress me out a bit, but fun time spent with my group of friends is rewarding. Results are being released, did not do well this time round, disappointed with myself, have lots to catch up in the next 7 semester.
Start of school was fine until all the projects came and stress X thousand times. Video editing and team not producing seems to be the most serious worry but I made it through! Time spent with friends were great, I love every moment that was spent with them esp the jokes and laughter!
“Aunties”( me, joanne and isebelle) was the best, we just love the auntie spirit and gossiping.
joanne, kai ting, me, isebelle and ker ling to night safari.
5 of us to east coast park.
Life have changed a fair bit. Everyone seems to be busy with their life, well I guess these problems will be faced by us when we start to grow up and everyone have to move on with their life.
2009 had knock on my door, happy new year! I guess with economy down turn and stuff like that, I guess this year will be a hard year ahead. Spend my new year eve countdown at jun hong house, after that go to jjjj house to stay over, slept @ 4 plus, went to kea thong for breakfast. Went back to play some card game and mahjong.
Ever since holiday, other than the survey job, I have been slacking at home. I did some housework as usual but felt so slack wondering if I can catch up with the pace when school reopen.
10 September 2008
I am growing day by day without me noticing it. Life in uni changed me that much. Life is not easy at all. After making this far in life, stress and tired had got over me.
My tolerance level had increase, after so many days of rushing for one project, I found out I had grew so much. Perhaps uni make me grow so much. Growing process is painful I guess, just like how my skin is being stretch. There are so much things that I want to accomplish, but there is only will in me, I cannot even find time to breathe.
This vacuum in life is making me hard to breathe. Motivation in life all flew away from me. I trying very hard to get air in this life. I hope I will be able to make it.
First week of school
The start of school officially starts this week. Only attend lectures and no tutorials because have not chosen the slots yet. Without tutorials, I am feeling so tired, the moment I got onto my bed, I felt asleep dun even have time to think about stuff.
I got sun burnt on national day eve all because of rag day. My mom says I look like a Indian girl now. Im sad.
After spending like 10 days on the mini project given to the 4 of us, we finally did it! Had fun with the armories, well done people! With grumbles, sweat, addiction on contact glue, drilling, paint, going back to complete it on Saturday, badminton, emo-ing, sleeping in the field, pictures and the good good good, I really felt wonderful team work and great hot babes!
My babes: me, isebelle, jeremy and lynnette
SDE 41
JuSt Me~
10:50 PM
I'm feeling bad
I don't mean to.
I'm feeling so bad
I'm sinful
I'm sorry
I regret after I did it, I will have insomnia...
Will I have karma?
I don't wish to.
I'm really sorry...
Curse me if you wish to...
不知道不想要为什么我的心，明明是想靠近，却孤单到黎明。。。
JuSt Me~
2:21 AM
1001 stuff
5 July 2008, Saturday
Finally back home from camp! I must say I am really not up to be camper. I am not going for the union camp. I am so lack of sleep now! Now I shall update how DISGUSTING (I got it right this time) i got myself in the camp! Haha!
Day 1:
Early morning I woke up and prepare myself, in the mood of sleeping I got everything done and my mom fetch me to school.
Register for the camp and got my secret name and a paper with part of Jenny by Click 5 lyrics on it. I sat and wait, then I was informed I got into the wrong section, so I moved and Daphne saw me! She call me so I sat with her and we chat. She was also at the camp alone. Then we have to find our OG (orientation group) with that lyrics! Amazingly Daphne got the same as me! That means we are in the same group, Click 5! After that we try to gather others and settle down. We then move our bag to the LT and played ice breaking games and cheers, I try very hard to remember names.
After that had lunch, following was amazing race! Really amazing! We won some, lose some. The scariest part is I am so heavy and the guys need to carry everyone over! So crazy@@
After the race we had this challenge for all the freshie. There is this blue canvas map, surface so rough placed on a slope, pour with soap, all freshie have to climb up. You cannot do it alone, it had to be a group work. So first thing I did the base, then some attempt some got up, the formation break, we do it again till I feel that my back hurt so much so I give up. Conclusion is I got up with help of friends and strings. HAHA!
We got our room assigned, I was so lucky to be in same room as Daphne, everything is just so coincidental. Shower, bring bags to the room and then dinner. Dinner was at the canteen then after that we sat down and talk. Next up game again. We play secret pal and blindfolded, so dirty we got “bua” with cream and stuff all over. Feeding each other, get sabo and etc. SLEEP!
Day 2:
Woke up with pain in muscles everywhere. In LT announce that there is one fake freshie in every OG and made everyone distrust each other in a moment. HAHA fingers start pointing around. But well we made it through.
Game in the afternoon, we lose quite a few games, one worst game is having a balloon in between your leg, lie down and roll! ON the blue canvas again now filled with sands on it. So scare that the balloon will burst, end of game, all knee and hands are scratches. Then we had mass dance. Mass dance is a Woo stuff because I cannot dance but seems ok in the end although we will miss some steps. At night, we are supposed to do a flag for the group and a MTV based on click 5 song catch your wave.
bloW blOW BLOW!
Forming C5
I so called volunteer myself to do the flag since no one knows art and I took art in secondary school days, and I did constantly draw. The flag was nice from what others say, I feel that its nice too, thanks for the idea and the girls who helped too. At night Daphne went home.
Day 3:
Wake up early to get clothes from mom, but I did not feel the vibration so I miss the call when I am actually awake alr! Then got scolded of course. Get clothes, went to sleep then wash up. Got some talk in the morning and after that is learning dance from the archi side. FIELD GAMES after that!! Really got very dirty.
Game 1: Human hamburger! Really got squash and press down like shit. Somemore I was like at the bottom and knee on the floor
Game 2: melting the ice and get the code inside the ice! Poor guys have to do push up and make themselves hot. We girls use hands, so we start to like self-abuse, we start to slap one another hand. So crazy.
Game 3: Obstacles
:
Game 4: Knee cap on the blue canvas, topping are ketchup, chilli, mayonnaise and water and “bua” so I got injured in the knee I guess not only me, those who really chiong got it.
Game 5: Best game by the group. Captain ball, but the ball is changed to things like raw chicken, squid, balloon, soap.
I wrote all the stuff I remember cause I was so tired that certain stuff I cannot remember very well. At night was preparation for the MTV presentation, we did it till almost 2. Went back room, pack up to prepared for the sentosa trip early in the morning
Day 4:
Woke up quite early to prepare for the sentosa trip. Feeling very tired cause we only managed to sleep like 4 hours.
Sentosa was really sand all over for mua ci. Into the sea for captain ball, dog and bone. Mouthful of sea water for filling up the bottle, knee got worst. WORST is, I got so black. But I love my OG!
Our Mermaids~At night was MTV presentation, did not did up to expectation but I guess the effort put in was remarkable. At night was meet the secret pal and chit chat. Did not win any prize, but I guess the effort is recognised. Then we had a last mass dance and off we go to the nearby prata shop to had prata. Reach home about 12. 
FOC camp vid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDrvkYbk80w9 July 2008, Wednesday
Click 5 BBQ at east coast. Went to parkway to meet the rest, then cabbed down to ECP to prepare the food and stuff. Evening time is a lot of flies and night is cats, after bbq we went to the pavilion nearby to sit and play truth. Knew quite a lot of stuff.
Went home shower and off to bed.
13 July 2008, Sunday
Small gathering at JJJJ house. We cooked spag for our lunch. Quite nice and its rare to see 5 woman squeezing in a kitchen! HAHAHA!
Played game and took numerous photos. Elaine was the one who got most assholes when playing the “dai dee” so she will be treating us durians on tue.
14 July 2008, Monday
When to the interchange to do my tertiary ez-link, collect my registered mail and go library to look for some books.
15 July 2008, Tuesday
When for driving lesson, it was so boring! Learn some new stuff, but overall was boring. Then when over to SS place to buy durians and off to JJJJ house to eat.
16 July 2008, Wednesday
Went back to NUS for the rag, met new friends, and got myself quite dirty. Left school in a hurry and went home for dinner, out again for some English study with friends.
18 July 2008, Friday
Dad fetches me and my friends to school for the English test. The paper was tough. After that walk all the way from the sports hall to SDE. Wait for Daphne friend to tell us about the mod things, after that bel came and we went to submit the scholarship form.
Check-up after that, the whole process took us 1 hour!! So crazy! Then after that we went for rag. Bel got something on so she went off early, I stay till almost 7. I did not have any lunch, I only had 2 slice of bread of breakfast. I almost fainted! Haha.
19 July 2008, Saturday
Congratulation to JJJJ for making it! So happy for her, shopped at town, bought a few stuff, talk a lot, took photos a lot toos, went to jess lounge to see her, laugh and talk till 11. took 190 home, 190 was crazy! 
JuSt Me~
10:13 PM
To my beloved ones...
To me it's a kind of pity that we cannot meet up before I leave for my camp, although I will still in Singapore and no where far, but I really hope to get together with your to gather some courage before I meet new friends, but I guess your have stuff to carry on.
So before I leave I just want leave a message to everyone of your.
To jess:
You are always so brave and shining in the eyes of mine. I can take the solution you give me when I am faced with problems, the attitude that you lead your life inspires me and I am learning from you how to have the attitude towards life. You're cool!
To Elaine:
You are wonderful. Dun feel hurt if we call u Bleaf cause sometimes you are a bit (haha) but that is what makes u unique isn't it? Dun close up yourself too much, go out and make new friends, BUT not forgetting us also. You are someone who have great will, dun give up.
To Ying Jia:
My Future air stewardess? Dun fear, no matter which path you choose to do, I will be at your back giving you support (provided it's the politically correct stuff to do, and not stunts, haha). You have a very outward bounded character which I feel its good, you get to expose to more of life. When will I get to know what is in your heart and mind?
To Shu Fang:
Don't always feel that you cannot do it, you can! Must believe in yourself, your English is not that bad, assignment done also good enough. You can make it! Don't always fierce me ah~ I small girl I scare. Lesser root beer for you if you fierce or bully me! Haha.
Stay Strong everyone! Future will not be easy, but I guess your will excel well. I actually very much hoping that we can meet up, but everyone got stuff to do which I guess I should not be so stubborn to insist on meeting up. Leaving a message here also not sure your will read or not, anyway I hope we can be more open of our feelings so I walk into your heart and understand more. But its hard, I know.
Really want to know how I fair in everyone heart but well its bad to insist on stuff too much specially when it comes to feelings and emotions.
Writing as if I will be gone, nope I will not be gone, I will still be in Singapore and bothering your in the years to come! Cheers!
JuSt Me~
12:02 AM
car can move...*DuH*
26 June, Thursday:I had my very first driving lesson, CAR CAN MOVE! I was so scare at first cause I did not know where to assemble where to find the instructor. But everything went smoothly and I managed to get into the driver sit. He teaches me how to control the pedal. When he say ok drive straight I was like OMG am I really doing it now? So sudden I am not well prepared yet! But I drove and after that was to the main road. Gosh, everything was fine till the road in circuit was filled with more cars moving around, I have to stop at certain moments and before I move off, the car stall~ and it happens not just once but I guess up to 10 times! HAHAHA but overall was fun driving a car, so different from Daytona!
Will be off to camp tomorrow for four days, kind of feeling weird and frustrated cause I am so not sure what shirt to wear and my room is in a messy of all the camp stuff lying around! When I see the mess, I just cannot be bothered to continue packing and feel so angry *ARGH*
JuSt Me~
4:31 PM
PI 's' & wisdom tooth 's'
Yesterday was a fun day with PI (private investigator) in disgust. Well, we had our own fun where the one who is being stalk by us had fun too I guess. I guess we are quite qualified PIs now. Hope to have more stalking coming up to excite my day!
To (you know who):
I guess the time is not there yet, but dun worry, we are still young we have time to spare. Perhaps he will sort out his feelings. I know you are grateful we are there for you. However, I felt grateful too because you are sharing bits and pieces of your life and feelings with us that made me feel I am worth being your friend. Dun worry what might be coming, we will always be there for you! We are always willing to share our ears, thoughts and shoulder.
______________________________
Today I woke up early because I have a dental appointment. I predict my doctor will nag at me because I missed my previous appointment and I did not really take good care of my teeth. However, surprise! She did not nag at me but it will be my last visit to her! After 6 years I am free from NDC! I still have to go back to have a cleaning session but I am really thankful to the doctor if not I will not have this nice and neat teeth.
I mention about my wisdom tooth that seems to be coming out at the bottom right of my gum. After looking through my past x-ray she confirm that I have 3 wisdom tooth, I saw the x-ray too, I was so shocked cause instead of the normal 4, I only had 3! There no wisdom tooth on the upper left! GONE? *hmmm* So she suggest to transfer me to a doctor who can operate on me, but I ponder so she say that when I go back for cleaning then decide to see a doctor for operation or not.
Whatever it is, I am scared, since young I am scare of dentist and I hated it! They pull my mouth and make my gums bleed. I am scare, on top of that operation on wisdom tooth require to cut the gum so it will bleed more I guess, I am scare! Hope my wisdom tooth 's' stop growing now!
JuSt Me~
10:54 PM
Happening
Even though I am at home, but I still hardly update cause I am just pure lazy. So many things happened.
Yearly J2EYS chalet is over, well I guess it is a test for our friendship. Photos will be up when I got it.
I signed up for the NUS union camp, signed for a language programme and also made my appeal to the uni just to get into the course I want.
Other event that took placed were:
-I finally bought my crumpler bag.
-I had a great fall because I play my DS while walking, got a big bruise at my knee
-I passed my basic theory! WOOOS. (A step nearer)
I really miss my polytechnic friends now. Although I did not have a lot of friends in there, but I have a lot of classmates, everyone from every semester I miss u guys so much. I miss their lame jokes, miss their caring for one another, miss hopping in to every different class everyday just to sit down and chat. I guess school days are just so good especially a class move towards a goal and everyone make their effort.
I just cannot understand where the stress is coming from, I am having insomnia and bad dream.
I am still having bruise, it happened mostly near my knee cap, I guess I am so careless. In order not to put my life at stake, I will seek an advice of a doctor soon I guess.
I seriously need a job because I am overspending.
I am down with flu quite serious, I cannot breathe well, worst when it comes to brushing of teeth, I go no where to breathe! -updating partly for ira...smile!
JuSt Me~
12:38 AM
hot from the oven
Super youtube
19 + 1
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to jolyn
Happy birthday to ME!
I am 20 already, starting the life with “2” is really depressing. Thanks JEYS for making their time and spent the day with me, super grateful. The night before my birthday was planning to go YingJia house stay, but so last min my dad do not allow me to, super sad and angry. I joined them for breakfast after that jess need to rush to workplace for a department meeting.
We were planning where to go and what to do, so we finally decided to meet jess at marina square. We end up late cause I need to come back home and change. Sorry to keep jess waiting. After that we check out the price of KBox, it was rather cheap and worth it, so we decided to go sing. Really super worth it! Got free flow, snacks, potato chips and nuggets or fries!!
After that as usual take pics at toilet, shopping and we pop by orchard, initially plan was to grab my Crunpler bag, but the shop close already then I peek in, my bag no more le!!! Sadden.
Go to JJJJ hse, they surprise me with cake and then present before going home.
Sad part is that this year I never celebrate with family, no cake, no dinner nothing. Perhaps make it next year..
Thanks lao pos for the present and the super cute card!!
Thanks jjjj for the cute little turtle from KL..
__________________________
My present from JEYS
Super cute bear from precious thoughts @ citylink
WAAAHHHHHH!!! I kissed ya lun on my birthday~~ my shyssss kiss
JuSt Me~
11:10 PM
The Night Alone
Nothing gets better than walking slowly home, listening to the favourite songs playing from my MP3, finding solutions and conclusions to the unfinished problems in mind...IT ALL GET BACK TO : WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO NEXT?
A wrong sms made me realise its already 20 Apr...I wish it was never wrong and never sent...
JuSt Me~
12:35 AM
What can be more worst than having a total of 5 bruises. = (
JuSt Me~
2:52 PM
四月 金牛座分析
紫薇科技大师版：这个月整体运势不错，爱情上喜事连连，好心情与家人一起分享，显得格外幸福。工作会有些忙碌，不过仍然能顺利完成，收获也不错。投资方面需要多分析、多交流，准备工作做好投资才更稳当。
天缘大师版：既无紧张曲折的故事情节亦无大放异彩的人生插曲，牛牛顶多就是内心对某些事忽然产生强烈的感觉，但绝不会上升到实际行动。金牛女被自己的思维模式捆绑着，感情上怎么也潇洒豁达不起来。
星吧大师版:本月的牛儿们开始渐入佳境，中旬之前的日子都还好。这个月里会有一些重要的事情，既耗时又不好搞，弄得你有点累。需要你注意的是，有件事会让你一时拿不定主意，但你需要当机立断。
super true~ but its not 喜事 at all~~
JuSt Me~
11:12 PM
I when back to work again~ haha. I really got see the bad side of people, I am so disappointed and angry. I cried yet again on Thursday. I am so sorry if the full timer got drag down by me. For sure I will miss everyone in the workplace except her, I wish I never go back again.
Went TopOne on Friday, singing is always so great! Love and miss lao pos a lot~~
On the way to bugis, I found patches of green on my hand realize its bruises, asked lao pos to rub for me and by the night my hand is patches of red, when I came home, I saw another one on my leg. I start to worry and went online to do some google search.
Conclusion: I am lacking perhaps Vit C.
My family keep on scaring me that is ghost who pinched me because I am naughty. But should not be, because it really hurts.
GROSS~
JuSt Me~
9:55 PM
Disappointment
What I have been waiting had reached, although the outcome is what I wanted, but the result is not what I want. I am disappointed.
JuSt Me~
10:58 PM
Before.....
TADA!!!!
My present from JEYS
Super cute bear from precious thoughts @ citylink 
WAAAHHHHHH!!! I kissed ya lun on my birthday~~ my shyssss kiss 
